Make Your Wishes Known and Remove a Burden from Your Loved Ones
Planning for an accident or sudden illness can be uncomfortable, but conversations with family members are important to ensure that your health care preferences are honored and that your caregivers don’t have to guess what you might want – if you can’t make your wishes known.
According to the Conversation Project, more than 90 percent of people think it’s important to have conversations about end-of-life care with their loved ones, yet less than 30 percent have done so. And while the importance of having what is called “health care directives” becomes more important with age, it’s never too early. No matter what the cause or what your age, a health crisis is the very worst time to ask your loved ones to make decisions without your guidance. To help you get started, here’s a worksheet you can download, to help you consider important topics like who you want to be the primary decision-maker on your behalf.
Most people already know the answers to these important questions – they just need help formalizing their wishes. Here are a few tips:
Choose an advocate. This should be someone who knows you well, is calm in a crisis, understands your preferences, is not afraid to ask questions of care providers and will advocate on your behalf. An advocate can be a close relative or friend but should be someone you trust to follow your wishes. Who might your advocate be?
Talk with your advocate and doctor about your future care preferences. Let your advocate and doctors know what’s most important to you in life. What are the activities and abilities that make life most worth living for you? What are the things that give you comfort when you’re sick? When, if ever, should your advocate decide that it’s time to “let go”? And who else should they include in that decision?
Write it down. Formalize your decisions by putting them in writing. You can download an interactive worksheet here that allows you to fill in the blanks for your advance care planning.
Give copies of your plan to your advocate, family members and doctors. Make sure they are aware of your plan and take some time to go over the document with them. Update and review the plan.
Finally, remember that this effort doesn’t have to be perfect or final -- you can change it at any time if your situation or preferences change.