5 Tips for Talking to Your Child about Mental Health
Being a teen or young person has always been a stressful time of life. But these days, it’s even rougher. Recently, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an alert that national surveys of young people that have shown alarming increases in the prevalence of certain mental health challenges. For example, in 2019, a third of high school students and half of female students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. That’s a 40 % increase from 2009 and makes it clear that as parents, we need to watch for signs of mental health challenges.
Parents often say they don’t know how to approach the topic of mental health with their teen. The following information was provided by our partner, Optum, with the hope that we can help smooth the way to a helpful conversation.
1. Put yourself in their shoes
The teenage and young adult years are a time of significant change. Your child may be spending more time with their friends than their family, starting their first job or learning how to drive. At the same time, their brain is still developing and the parts that control impulses and help them make decisions aren’t fully formed. In addition, social media use may also have an impact on teens’ lives, making them feel anxious about whether others approve of them, overwhelmed by constant notifications and worried that they may be missing out. Frequent Instagram use for young women has also been found to be correlated with body dissatisfaction as well as anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.
2. Listen and watch for cues
It’s key to listen to your child, they may bring up mental health topics on their own or may bring them up in indirect ways. For example, they may bring up what a friend is going through or share how they are feeling about something. Be sure that you are listening, so you aren’t missing these types of opportunities to have a conversation.
3. Build trust by respecting differences
It’s likely that you and your teen or young adult do not see eye-to-eye on a variety of topics including political or social issues. Though it can be difficult, it is crucial to remain calm and respectful of their views to build trust and allow them to be more open with you. Instead of lecturing, help your teen plan how to make healthy choices about drugs and alcohol, relationships and other topics they’ll face.
4. Deepen your own knowledge about mental health
The topics of anxiety, depression and other mental health concerns may be new to you. It can be helpful to educate yourself on these conditions, including signs to watch for, before you bring them up. If someone is feeling sad or withdrawn for more than a couple weeks, having severe mood swings, worrying a lot or getting into fights with others, they may be dealing with a mental health issue and need help.
5. Resist the urge to avoid tough topics
Some topics are understandably difficult to discuss. If you think someone may be having suicidal thoughts, for example, ask. If the answer is yes, seek professional help including contacting emergency services. Talking about suicide will not cause it. It can also be helpful to discuss traumatic events that you may have experienced together, or alone. Some young people may feel more comfortable talking than others, while some may have some hesitation – or not want to discuss it at all. It’s important not to pressure them to talk if they aren’t ready.
Some important warning signs to look for include:
It’s important to be able to address the needs of teens and young people regarding mental health, but sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish normal ups and downs of growing up with telling warning signs of a mental health issue.
Generally, if young people and teenagers exhibit the following behaviors or symptoms that last for weeks or months or are of severe magnitude, it may be helpful to have them evaluated by a mental health professional as these illnesses can be treated.
Some of these behaviors include:
Smoking, drinking or using drugs
Sharing that they are hearing things that others cannot hear or someone is trying to control their mind
Fear of gaining weight, dieting or excessive exercise
Having low energy or loss of interest in things they used to enjoy
Sleeping too much or too little
Having periods of elevated energy or activity, paired to requiring less sleep than normal
Engaging in risky or destructive behaviors
Spending more time alone and not engaging in social activities or activities with family members
Thoughts of suicide
Self-harm behaviors such as cutting or burning skin
RESOURCES FOR HELP
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the closest emergency room. To talk with a trained counselor, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline any time at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). For less urgent support, please contact your child’s medical provider for guidance and connections to resources.