As the holidays and large gatherings near, many families and friends are holding their collective breath in hopes of getting through the season without the conflict that vaccine status questions can trigger. Because the pandemic is still underway and we have not reached herd immunity, we believe it’s still important to be cautious about indoor gatherings with more than one household – unless everyone is vaccinated.

But what’s the best way to address this issue? If you’re unsure of the vaccine status of others who will be attending a gathering where social distance and fresh air won’t be possible,we suggest having ‘the talk’ in a direct, calm manner.

Here are some tips to try when talking with a friend or family member about upcoming gatherings:

• Begin by talking about your desire to spend time together.

• Share your vaccine status – not your reason or belief in the vaccine.

• Ask about their status and if there will be an expectation of vaccination for the gathering.

• Listen openly and consider this as a logistical question only – do not judge, even if you disagree.

• If you feel uncomfortable with the ability to gather safely, say so gently. Focus on how eager you are to gather in the future when it will be more comfortable for you.

• At this point, if someone hasn’t been vaccinated, you are unlikely to change their mind. Save the relationship the stress and move on. Consider when you might be able to gather again, perhaps outside.

Conversations like this can be difficult. But keeping you and your family safe is critical. Give yourself credit for being willing to ask tough questions and to be flexible with your planning.